2.3 Fear of failure
Ask yourself this: what type of competitor are you? Are you the kind who likes to play it safe and just do alright? Or are you the kind who’s willing to take a chance on possibly failing in order to accomplish something amazing? More than anything else, it’s a fear of failure that keeps people from achieving their full potential in school, in life, in sports, in business—in everything. Fearing failure is more than just a bad thing. The bottom line is, in order to be good in school, in your sport or whatever it is that you do, you simply can’t be afraid of failing, and here’s why; Being afraid to fail actually helps create the conditions that make failure more likely! Fear of failure causes a lot of problems. It restricts you. The wrong types of thoughts result in shortness of breath, tight muscles, and an overload of stress. . . Worse still, fear of failing (sometimes even fear of fear) can cause a competitor to start playing it safe. Instead of rising up to meet the challenge, he subconsciously shrinks from it. On the other hand—and this is the important point—once a competitor learns to overcome the fear of failing, his chances of succeeding increase dramatically.
In reality, fear of failure is nothing more than a perceived psychological threat to your ego and self-esteem. What typically causes a fear of failing is the state of mind that takes hold when a competitor is afraid of looking bad, or else is such a perfectionist that he’s become overly self-critical. In either case, his internal state ends up holding him back, whether he’s aware of it or not.
Adults are more than capable of wrecking their own chances with fear of failure. However, with children, parents and coaches must be extra careful. Often the adults are the ones creating this build-up of nervous stress in the child athlete’s internal world. Injecting the wrong emotional input into a child’s occasional failure can ruin the child’s love of their sport and even destroy their confidence. With children it’s especially crucial that we help build self-esteem, not tear it down. Parents need to go easy on the criticism. Parents shouldn’t act out. It’s that type of adult behaviour that can cause a child's fear of failure. In order to avoid the internal state that causes the fear of failure, the mental athlete must first come to look at failure in an entirely different way from most people. He has to learn to accept that the only way to accomplish anything great is to risk failing at it first. He has to accept that without occasional failures he can never hope to get better. He has to understand that on the path to greatness some failures are inevitable. And when he does lose, the mental athlete has to make a conscious decision to learn from that failure. Rather than abandoning himself to the luxury of misery, he will methodically shut down that destructive voice of internal self-criticism in favour of looking at failure as valuable feedback. Thus, when he experiences failure he learns what, out of all his training, still isn’t working. He learns how to fail constructively. The mental athlete won’t allow a fear of failure to hold him back from greatness. By learning to look at failure differently, top competitors are able to enter competition without a fear of failure. After all, there is no one in history, in or outside of sports, who ever rose to greatness without having once failed. Politicians have lost elections. Generals have lost battles. Millionaires have failed in prior business ventures. Behind every Olympic gold medal lie hundreds of second and third place finishes.
Think about it.
Remember: The only way to accomplish anything great is to risk failing at it first.
per ardua ad astra ~ David
2.2 All of Me
Today I practised 7 hours to be able to play a song called All of Me by Jon Schmidt.
Jon Schmidt, composer:
"I gave All of Me its name because of what it is; It takes all of your inner strenght if you are to stop yourself from giving up. When you play this song these three words will ring in your ears: 'Rehearse, rehearse, rehearse'.
Good luck."
These words were not only motivational; they were also inspiring. I thought... If i could play this impossible ( ! ) song because of All of Me, why shouldn't I devote All of Me into everything I do?
So now, the song All of Me has gotten a new kind of meaning. It is a song that symbolises my Inner strenght and Will. Whenever I think negative thoughts or feeling like I want to give up, I just think of this song or listen to it if that's possible.
This is all of me for today, cheers.
Remember: One must practise in order to become.
per ardua ad astra ~ David
P.S.
I told my parents about my dreams of going to MIT today. They tried to push me down, telling me I would fail, but I am not afraid of failing... more on that tomorrow... haven't got the energy at the moment.
D.S.
2.1 Sidenote: Imagineering
So, in 1.1 Decide i mentioned Walt Disney and Imagineering. Seemingly, not everyone understood what I was referring to so that is why I decided to explain it to you, as it helps alot in building confidence and self-belief.
Mr. Eric Toste, currently Head Master of the International English School in Gävle told me alot about this during my lessons with him. I will do my best and try to repeat his words.
Mr. Eric Toste, currently Head Master of the International English School in Gävle told me alot about this during my lessons with him. I will do my best and try to repeat his words.
Keep in mind that this technique is very hard to master and that it takes time and devotion to use it. I am far away from mastering it, but still I feel that it has helped me a lot in my life. Both in mental preparation before competing in ballroom dancing and in boosting my self-esteem.
Imagineering—the technique of showing our minds how we want things to go; and a term first coined by the legendary dreamer, Walt Disney. We should all take his advice and allow ourselves to practice sensory rich imagineering. Champions such as Mike Tyson (Mr. Toste loves to use Tyson as an example) use imagineering prior to their events. It's also often used by people in order to help them achieve the successful completion of a project or an important goal over time. This simple practice has been proven to be so essential and so effective, that the athlete who fails to practice the technique apparently never plays to his true potential. Interestingly, the same results have been observed with actors and musicians, as well. For performance of any kind, mental preparation is as important as physical training.
Mike Tyson said:
"if you leave “imagineering” out of your preparation, you will be hurting yourself and helping your opponent. Imagine stepping into competition having seen and felt the entire experience before-hand; from the crowd to the coaches, from the venue to your own performance, all in your own mind. It’s a fascinating experience. It creates an incredible feeling of confidence."
What’s really the key with imagineering is that you not only see and watch, but that you actually feel yourself succeeding, over and over again. Make sure that you bring emotion into your mental practice. Practice feelings along with images including those related to your overcoming adversity and being able to successfully fight your way out of challenging predicaments or situations. Never allow yourself to entertain images or feelings of defeat during your imagineering sessions. This is because whatever impressions reach the subconscious mind it will accept as being true—and what it believes to be true affects your performance. Feed it empowering, successful images and feelings, and it delivers performance, drive, and motivation from deep within yourself in line with those images and feelings. However, if you feed it suggestions of worries or failure then you will defeat yourself. Success, victory, and your ability to effectively overcome adversity, is what you must rehearse, rehearse, and rehearse again. Relax, be still, and in your mind - you must see it, feel it, and accept that it is coming your way. This process of conditioning for success set's things in motion. It creates confidence and confidence is one of the most significant by-products of good mental training. The most powerful confidence comes as the result of both physical and mental preparation—and winning and achievement has everything to do with preparation. If you think you’re confident now, and you’re not using mental training techniques, then you really can’t even begin to know what you’re missing or understand how much you stood to improve with mental training — that insight comes only through its practice.
Remember: Imagineering is vital because it leads to greater self-belief and greater
confidence, which in turn leads to better performance and achievements.
per ardua ad astra ~ David
2.0 Strive
I feel like I have started to improve my english again after my progress being like a doldrum since last june.
For months my thoughts have all been in swedish, but the last couple of weeks english has been coming back into my mind all the more fequent which is really good since it takes me one step closer to one of my goals: Improve my english.
This weekend I have been reading some of the MIT and the GRE compendiums that Rutvika e-mailed to me. (Thanks, Rut)So, the quest has now officially started: I am now reaching for the stars as I strive to fulfill my goals.
Strive. Do something - big or small - today that takes you one step closer to your goals.
per ardua ad astra ~ David
1.1 Decide
- Study hard, Work hard, Play hard
- Have fun
- Improve my english
- Study mathematics and physics this summer
- Establish a unique and successful UF-business and earn lots of money
- Pass the GRE-test
- Complete the TOEFL with a minumum score of 600
- Apply for MITs Department of Economics in January 2011
- Graduate GS with high academic achievements in June 2011
- Study at MITs Department of Economics in September 2011
For months I wandered in the darkness looking for the dreams that I had given up. I knew that I needed something to motivate myself to work hard, but I always thought that somebody else would do the hard work for me. Things don’t just happen on its own.
If you want something to happen in your life you need to do it yourself, and the best way to do that is to have something that motivates you; a dream, a vision.
Think about it. Without a dream, without a vision, how can you know where you hope to
get? Without a dream one is only drifting... I know I was.
So, what’s your dream? If it’s important to you, then it’s worth chasing. Any champion will tell you that a big part of life involves reaching for your dreams. It’s what helps you move forward.
Remember what Walt Disney called Imagineering? Use it, as you set out to create your vision. Let imagineering help you build the confidence that you can get to your dream; allow yourself to be moved by the power of your dreams. Never let anyone or anything shove you off track or break you down once you’ve set your course towards achieving
something.
Where do you see yourself next? What’s your vision of your future? One thing’s for sure, if you ever hope to achieve it, you need to see it and feel it, vividly, in your mind’s eye, and not just occasionally. Learn to often reinforce your vision of where you hope to be in a few years time—and then work towards achieving it. It’s not only dreaming, of course, but believing and taking action also. You’ve got to take specific steps to get you where you want to be. Soon you’ll learn some simple goal setting ideas that can help you transform your dreams into reality. They’re the same ideas that many top performers use in order to help them make steady progress, but for now, I want you to get a clear vision of what it is that you want to achieve for yourself. Think about what you want to become, how you want things to be. For a little while, you need to do some Imagineering. Close your eyes and see yourself and everything around you the way you want it to be. Imagine it; feel it; see it clearly; see it vividly. Let your spirit soar.
Decide. What's your dream? Figure it out. That's your assignment.
per ardua ad astra ~ David
1.0 Dreams
At certain times in my life I have looked around and found myself having (temporarily)
achieved my goals. Looking back on all the hardships, the obstacles, the challenges, and
even some of the negative people who’d done their best to try to keep me down,
somehow I still did what I intended to do, and got myself where I wanted to be.
So, what is it that drives us to try again and again, to keep going, to keep taking just one
more step even when nothing seems to be working for us?
A dream, that’s what.
per ardua ad astra ~ David
